I went to the Pastoral Center for Filipino Migrant Workers in Hyewha, Seoul yesterday (June 2, 2006) to meet with Emely and Sister Angel (complete names withheld since I was not able to ask permission from them). We had a good lunch in a restaurant named KyoChon. Emely and Sister Angel ordered their favorite chicken wings. Over lunch, we discussed some possible things I could do for the center. Volunteering for the Catholic Center, particularly for the weekly newsletter, is the most that I can do for now. I have set my limitations and I know that they understand as I am on my seventeenth week of pregnancy. Physical tasks and emotional burden are just too much for me at this stage and I don’t want to risk my pregnancy over apostolate work.
I realized that I could only do so much. Even in my sincerest form, I could not bring myself to be emotionally involved with the migrant workers predicament. Aside from my pregnancy, it dawned on me that I never really had the strength of character to empathize with other people’s misery. I shy away from emotional burdens I know I do not have the intensity to handle. This brings me to question my capacity to be of service.
Pitiful stories on the lives of Filipino migrant workers here in Seoul abound. Visions of me interviewing some of them to be featured in the weekly newsletter and sharing their lives for other’s enlightenment or guidance excite me. Unfortunately, when I got to see the center and heard and saw living proofs of these stories, I chickened out. I didn’t think I could do it. I didn’t think I would be able to handle it.
Am I a coward? Maybe so. But I could not venture into something I know I do not have the power to control. I admire those who have the energy and the heart to delve into this kind of service. I could only admire from a distance for I could not deny that I am still shielding myself. I have to settle into doing something safe for now. Assisting Sister Angel’s apostolate work for a Korean church historian and researching for national news from the Philippines are, so far, the most that I can do…
